This is not to say that everyone who has religious beliefs or superstitions has a personality disorder. Some people with personality disorders have some very odd beliefs including superstitions, unusual religious beliefs, and worldviews that are extremely out of tune with a person's culture, religion, and environment. It is very easy to imagine that suspiciousness and distrust can cause tremendous distress, and certainly interferes with the formation healthy and enjoyable relationships with others. For example, a simple gift might be interpreted as a disguised attempt to manipulate them. A person with this pattern of thinking will interpret even the kindest gestures in a negative way. With this pattern of thinking, other people's actions and motivations are nearly always questioned and considered suspect. This includes being distrustful of others, and believing that most other people are dishonest and potentially harmful. They have difficulty understanding why a single "bad" action suddenly defines the entirety of who they are,Ī third pattern of distorted thinking is a heightened level of suspiciousness. Understandably, partners of such folks are often baffled by this type of thinking. This type of thinking creates a great deal of grief and conflict for everyone.
Instead, the moment their partner does something that frustrates, disappoints, or annoys them, their partner suddenly becomes someone who is "all bad" rather than someone who has momentarily engaged in a "bad" behavior. However, if a person personality disorder has this thinking pattern, they do not easily see these shades of grey. They realize their partner behaves well most of the time, but not always. They come to accept their partner has both strengths and weaknesses. However, healthy adults gradually adopt of more realistic and balanced view of their partner. It is quite common to idealize a new romantic partner. In particular, this pattern is quite common during the initial stages of romantic relationships. This pattern can also be played out in friendships, romantic relationships, or family relationships. When these things occur, the all-good therapist suddenly becomes a completely horrible, incompetent, and ignorant person in their client's eyes. Therapists often must say or do things that frustrate clients. Sometimes there is no immediate solution to the client's problems. Sometimes therapists get sick and must miss therapy appointments. However,the moment there is the slightest indication that the therapist has ordinary human limitations, this idealization quickly becomes disgust or even rage. The therapist is viewed as someone who has all the answers to all their problems, who knows everything, never makes any mistakes, and who will never disappoint or frustrate them. Initially, the client sees the therapist is seen as the perfect human being. This distorted thinking pattern can be played out when a client begins to work with a new therapist. However, with a vacillating pattern of extreme thinking, people are seen as either all good, or all bad, but not both. Most healthy people recognize that we each have some good, and some bad qualities i.e., we behave well sometimes, but certainly not all the time. This thinking pattern can be summarized by the statement, "If you are not entirely good, then you must be entirely bad. Vacillation between idealization and devaluationĪ specific type of black-or-white thinking is the tendency to vacillate between over-idealizing, then completely devaluing, other people or oneself.
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